Leader Board so far:
- "Byte" with 5 points
- "Jonny" from Diageo with 5 points
- "Sandy Babes" with 4 points
- "Kovec" with 3 points
- "ADMS" from Ulster Orchestra with 2.5 points
- "Gillian" with 2 points
- "Whiskey Alpha Bravo" with 1 point
Byte's article
As Byte won the competition yesterday, he has kindly submitted this article on Addressing Stress as his prize. If you have any questions for Byte please feel free to post a comment.Stress has a way of changing posture. As stress begins to tighten one's body, shoulders begin to roll forward, the chin lifts and the neck moves forward. This happens to all of us as the everyday pressures of life close in around us. In the world of psychology the term for this posture is armouring.Think of a person sitting at a typing station. This person is not sitting erect, but leaning slightly forward. Her elbows are not hanging by her side but are just forward of her body. As her fingers dance across the keyboard she not only has to hold her forearms up, but has to hold her elbows forward. This puts a tremendous amount of pressure on the muscles of her upper back as well as her lower back. There are two muscles that are punished the most by stress. We call these muscles the stress muscles. However, their medical name is Levator Scapula. These two muscles connect at the upper bones of the neck called the Cervical Vertebrae and connect to the shoulder blade, known as the Scapula. When we are stressed our shoulders lift putting pressure on our neck. This pressure creates headaches and neck and shoulder pain. The final result of this posturing is pressure on the Medial Nerve which eventually becomes Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. This condition is easily addressed by massage and three or four visits usually alleviate this stress. How often should you get a massage? Probably once a week, if you have never had a massage before.As the shoulders lift, the vertebrae of the spine are pulled close together, which puts pressure on the disk between the vertebrae. As the disk is crushed by this pressure it widens and puts pressure on the nerves that exit the Central Nervous System at these openings. As the nerves are impinged, everything in the body begins to shut down and we enjoy a lower level of energy. life becomes harder. From our point of view, stress is the fundamental cause of most illness. The Ancient Chinese said that disease was caused by congestion and wellness was the result of circulation. This was written six thousand years ago and it seems they were correct.For those of you who have never experienced a professional massage, perhaps now is the time to give one a try. All you have to lose is stress and discomfort.Thanks Byte - We will especially if you book my birthday appointment you promised me!!
Wednesday's Puzzler - The Answer
The pararagraph is very unusual because :A) There are no "E's" in it - NONE AT ALL!!!B) Every other letter in the alphabet does appear in it - even "Z", "X" and "Q"Study this paragraph and all things in it. What is vitally wrong with it? Actually, nothing in it is wrong, but you must admit that it is most unusual. Don't just zip through it quickly, but study it scrupulously. With luck you should spot what is so particular about it and all words found in it. Can you say what it is? Tax your brains and try again. Don't miss a word or a symbol. It isn't all that difficult?Only two people submitted the answer today.
Jonny from Diageo was 100% correct
Andrew from the Ulster Orchestra was 50% right.
I am awarding Jonny 5 points and Andrew 2.5
Well done both of you....
Wednesday's Puzzler
Look at the following paragraph. What is unusual about it?Study this paragraph and all things in it. What is vitally wrong with it? Actually, nothing in it is wrong, but you must admit that it is most unusual. Don't just zip through it quickly, but study it scrupulously. With luck you should spot what is so particular about it and all words found in it. Can you say what it is? Tax your brains and try again. Don't miss a word or a symbol. It isn't all that difficult?Answers on an e-mail only to
mark.mcguire@btinternet.com.
DO NOT POST ANSWER!!!
The Big Day
I'm 34.I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I
think I like it.
I got several messages today - many of them from real people. Thank you all.
My favourite message was from Clair. it said "Happy Birthday . . . Judas"
This refers to a little confusion surrounding who was to host my birthday party on Friday. I'm not giving out details in case I dig myself in deeper. Suffice it to say that Pamela and David are throwing a little gathering for me on Friday night to celebrate and I am very grateful and will be extremely drunk no doubt.
Saturday is at present a blank slate so if anyone wants to arrange something on that night I'd be delighted to attend. You're not 34 on the Wednesday before every Saturday of your life.
Another favourite message was from wee Leanne in VHS / Sendit and it is pictured above.
As of 8.30 this morning I had not received any messages except one from Friends Reunited. Fred remarked - "Oh well at least there's an automated system out there that loves you..."
Labels: birthday, clair gunning stitt
It's my birthday tomorrow.
Our Day Out
We had a lovely day out on Monday didn't we Fred? Yes we did.
Shall I tell you about it. Oh all right then. I don't want to bang on too long but here goes.
Susie the Floozie, Richard, Fred and I all went on a lovely Bank Holiday Monday day out to Newcastle stopping off at KFC and then Tyrella Beach on the way.
The beach turned out to be £2.50 which was a shock to us as we believed this area of "outstanding natural beauty" in the world to be something which was one of God's creations for us all to enjoy. Still I suppose, there is a cost for it to be cleaned and maintained. But wait. Is that not what I pay tax and rates through the nose for?? Apart from anything else, beautiful as it was, it was not a patch on some of the gorgeous coves and bays we saw in Northern Majorca and we were charged nothing to go there... Something for the NI tourist board to think about...
This uncomfortable seated-back-pocket-change-hoaking incident aside, we had a lovely day paddling around, swimming in the sea, building sand castles, flying our kite and running remote control cars up and down the beach.
Here is a picture of us having fun - look at us - look at how happy we are!!
After the beach we then went to Newcastle and had a go on the "fruit" machines. I won £5!! That said I did simultaneously lose £10. However I left the premises, a happy man.
Once we had finished with our dangerous gambling we went to Maud's for an ice-cream. I bought every one a "Saucy Chocolate Tub" except Richard who favoured a "Mr Whippy". Mauds don't sell those.
After this he we went home and watched "The Chorus" which was really good I thought damn the critics. We ate cheese and biscuits which Fred fetched from Sainsburys during the film as he hates things about singing.
All in all it was a grand day out. Reading it back it sounds a bit common. And in ways it probably was.
Did you go out on Bank Holiday Monday?? If so where and for God's sake why? Feel free to tell us immediately.
Labels: freddy, richard, Robert, Susan
Winners for Tuesday
The correct answer was of course "Chile" and the winners were as follows:
1st - "Byte" with 5 points
2nd - "Sandy Babes" with 4 points
3rd - "Kovec" with 3 points
4th - "Gillian" with 2 points
5th - "Whiskey Alpha Bravo" with 1 point
An answer came in from David and was correct but you were beaten David and score 0 points I'm afraid.
Well Done All!!
I wonder where the answers were from "ADMS" "SUSIE" or "RICHARD"?? Have you all left Fred and Fred's??
Todays question / leader board system....
Congratulations to Emily who got the correct answer to yesterday's quiz - the correct answer was of course :
I like bees. When I see a bee, it makes me think of the honey that they make. Honey makes my toast nice.Emily if you want to e-mail me an article of your choice I will be happy to post it.
So I've decided to run a leader board every week. The winner at the end of every week will get a prize. A real prize - not just the opportunity to write an article. I haven't quite decided what the prize should be yet so any suggestions are welcome (within reason)
The winner every day can put up whatever they like of interest (again within reason)
If you are first with the answer you get 5 points. If you are second you get 4. Third you get 3 and so on. Ther person with the most points at the end of every week gets the prize.
So lets go. I will not be telling you what time I post the question each day but I will always post the answer at 4 with the days winners. Answers must be e-mailed to me at
mark.mcguire@btinternet.com NOT POSTED!!!
So here is today's question....
Can you find the hidden country in the following paragraph: At school, most of my friends learnt French. I learned Chinese, mainly because I planned to visit the far east when I grew up.OFF YOU GO!!!
Gay Pride Events - what do you think?
This article wouldn't be nearly as eye-catching if accompanied by a picture of a gay middle aged man in a jumper at the cinema
I have always been slightly embarrassed by gay pride events. Once upon a time gay people marched, in fear, to be treated equally. They were attacked along the way, but they were making a stand in a time when some people genuinely hated gay people.
In Northern Ireland this hatred and failure to understand could mean something as raw as being beaten up outside the the one or two clubs in Belfast prepared to take the risk of presenting itself as a "gay" venue. Alternatively on an even more sinister side this lack of understanding could mean the loss of a job or contract if anyone found out about your "dirty secret"
Thankfully though these are altogether different times and even in the last 5 years or so things have moved on immeasurably here. You can feel it. People want to understand - they have been educated despite these stereotypes. Our younger counter-parts never fail to amaze me particularly - most of them that I talk to couldn't really give a damn now and not only are they tolerant but they are intrigued by gay people. They seem to want to understand.
The "Only Gay in the Village" sketches on "Little Britain" are about just that - how old school homosexuals are actually dying to appear different and exotic when in fact they are now on the whole, accepted and treated no different from everybody else.
And now, "Gay Pride" seems to be about people dressing up in the most ridiculous way, that they would never do in their everyday lives. People will be flashing as many body parts as possible, mincing, squealing, and living up to every bad gay stereotype imaginable.
I have never felt the need to be part of this. I have never really been part of the "gay community" in general. I've always wondered whether that makes me a tiny minority in a minority, or whether there are many more like me, people you would just never know about because they don't act that way and they're not part of that lifestyle. I always hoped it was the latter.
It could still be that many straight people will see the people at Gay Pride and assume that's what we are all like. If this were the case, it would only create further discrimination and demonstrate that being gay is some kind of alien lifestyle. I would like to think that most people block out this behaviour and see it for what it is - all a show and not indicitave of the greater majority of gay people.
The "protesters" now go against everything the original protesters fought for: To be treated equally as normal human beings. Being gay is an attraction to people of the same sex. It has nothing to do with feather boas, bad wigs and hideous makeup. It is a sexual attraction, not a lifestyle, and I don't understand why people have decided to portray it as such.
Of course Im not saying I don't realise that they do it for the publicity. 100 gay civil servants quietly parading through london in suits albeit by Calvin Clein wouldn't exactly hit the headlines. I just wonder exactly what the message is in these times.
As Lisa Simpson said in an episode of the Simpsons which touched upon this very subject, "We know you're here, and we know you're queer, you were here last year - we are used to it!!!"
Labels: Northern Ireland, rant
Jenny and Chris's Champagne Barbeque
Sat night was "Champagne Night" and Jenny and Chris (yet again) provided us with a fab night. They treated us to their wedding champagne (much appreciated especially by me) and a fabby barbeque (my fav was the corn on't cob!!!)
Many thanks to Jenny and Chris from all of us - really enjoyed your pics of Rio and hope that my ridiculous consumption of alchohol didn't make me slur too much...
Here are a few pics from the evening.
Jenny and Chris's Wedding photo's can be found HERE.
Richard and Susan
We all enjoyed Jenny and Chris's spread
Mark and Susan
Our Lynder and Barry
Jenny and Emily
Richard and FreddyLabels: freddy, jenny, lynder, photos, richard, Robert, Susan
Puzzle for 26th August
I really must re-install my Microsoft Word programme. I recently spell checked my document and it managed to misrepresent one letter in each of the words. What were the original words?
A lake wees. Then a sea I wee, is bakes he thank if she
money what thee bake. Money bakes me roast lice.
The sentence does make sense when correctly spelt.
Good Luck!!! - I realise a lot of people are off for bank holiday - I am also - but try anyway. Tomorrow I start a leader board....
Many of you have been asking me about the Mark McGuire Singers and what is next for them. Many of you have also expressed your admiration for "Mary" their new single and frankly most of you just simply want more.
I'm delighted to be able to tell you that the Mark McGuire Singers have now got themselves on the web where you can find out more and download some hitherto unavailable tracks.
You can find the
Mark McGuire Singers Website HERE
Sandra shows us her cushions.
Since Sandra won the competition, she has taken time out from her busy schedule to write us her article as her prize. She wanted to share with us the cushions she bought this morning and had the following explanation:-
"These are photos of cushions purchased from the Disney store this morning by my long suffering fiance Adrian. He bought them as a gift to thank me for looking after him as he has dislocated his shoulder and I have had to shower him every day!! That's devotion for you!"
Thanks Sandra.
As you all know the Mark McGuire Singers have been very busy in the studio.
Well today, in a world exclusive for
FredandFred, I can reveal a new track to be added to their forthcoming album.
It is
Mary by the Scissor Sisters and arranged by Mark McGuire and it can be downloaded FREE OF CHARGE Here. Simply right click and press "Save as" for it to be saved to your computer.
Enjoy and let the Mark McGuire Singers know if you like it....
Byte's article!!
Byte (man of mystery) won a prize last week. As avid followers of this website (there were 206 visits last week even though it does bang on a bit) will know, Byte refuses point blank to identify himself which has been creating great intrigue. Now he has promised me a massage for my birthday next week in one of his places of work and has also written us an article on the subject as his competition prize - and here it is. Please feel free to leave him your thoughts at the bottom of the page - I personally think it is a really interesting area.
"Massage is the most fundamental of all healing techniques. Massage is so basic to nature that we do it automatically. Let me explain.
You are walking across a room, and you accidentally bump your elbow on the edge of a table. Pain shoots up your arm. Instantaneously you grab your elbow and without thinking, you begin to rub it. This is massage.
· As I write this article my seven-month-old daughter is sitting on my knee. When it is time for her nap, I hold her on my shoulder and gently rub her back until she falls asleep. This is massage.
· My wife gives me a hug when I enter the house after a long day at work. I find myself caressing her shoulders and back. This is massage.
The point is that massage is the most naturally healing thing you can do. The nurturing touch is simple, instinctual, and more powerful than we can imagine. Some of the many studies on touch show conclusively that it reduces stress, alleviates depression, reduces pain, boosts the immune system, and helps pre-mature babies catch up in their development. Without touch we close down. With touch we love, communicate, and nurture one another. So massage is not just a profession for a special few; it is part of the healing touch we all possess.
Because massage is naturally healing, its therapeutic use dates back as far as mankind. Ancient Greek, Roman, and Oriental medical treatises describe in detail how and when massage should be used. In the Western world it fell out of favor in the Middle Ages as the church regarded the body as sinful. But, by the 1800's, a new interest in massage was started in Sweden, and today there are many popular modalities of therapeutic massage and bodywork.
Massage professionals have spent years observing the benefits of using certain strokes and have developed systematic techniques to relieve the pain and stress of mankind. There are literally dozens of these therapies, each with their own association dedicated to supporting its members and promoting the benefits of their work. "
My immediate reaction to this article is to want more - Byte what particular types of massage are you involved in (not giving away too much about yourself obviously) and what experience did you have that sparked your interest in this field?
Richard's Organ
Finally I get to tell you all about Richard's Organ
This has proved to be a subject of great popularity indeed - therefore I interviewed him regarding his Organ and he had the following to say:
"My Organ will be installed in 2 weeks. It is being built by Phoenix Organs (NI) Ltd. Which is run by Stephen Hamill.
The above picture was taken on a Sony Ericson K750i and emailed to me under the title of “Here is a picture of a toaster taken with a telephone” - toaster being the derogatory term given to electronic organs by “pipe-heads”.
I am unsure of the technical aspects at the moment as far as the electronics are concerned (no. of soundcards, output, channels etc) but can tell you that as a musical instrument it will have 4 manuals and pedals and about 80 stops. The equivalent in pipes would be the largest pipe organ in Ireland and would cost 100,000’s of pounds! As it is we think this will be the largest electronic Organ currently installed in Ireland!
The specification was drawn up by me. I am prepared to offer FredandFred the exclusive rights for the coverage of the opening recital………which will be sometime in September. "
Well thanks Richard - I'm sure we all wish you the very best with your Organ. For anyone who is a little unsure how to get their head round this article, and who perhaps wonders if their is some in-joke going around, NO!! Richard is actually having a custom electronic "church" organ built and installed in his house.
Fredandfred will keep you all posted and no doubt resort to posting some more information if I run out of puzzles to keep you all occupied....
Thanks Richard.... Thichard.
Labels: richard
Sandy Row Puzzler
Today's puzzler
Aliens landed in Sandy Row last night. Most locals stepped outside to see the space-ship's massive 50ft wingspan. Amazingly, seven Sandy Row "steeks" failed to see the sight before them, as they took shelter from the great light that shone from upon high. The Aliens fled the area nearly as quickly as they arrived as the appearance of the locals scared them.
Hidden within this paragraph is the name of a country. Can you find it?
It's not
Uganda - Jonny from Diageo
It's not "
Steeks" - Fred from VHS
Sandra from Vodafone has correctly guessed it and comes first - As a result she will be providing us with an article or picture of her choice. Off you go Alexandra!!
The correct answer was of course "
PANAMA" as in :
Aliens landed in Sandy Row last night. Most locals stepped outside to see the space-ship's massive 50ft wingspan. Amazingly, seven Sandy Row "steeks" failed to see the sight before them, as they took shelter from the great light that shone from upon high. The Aliens fled the area nearly as quickly as they arrived as the appearance of the locals scared them.
Well done Sandra!!!
Welcome Stephen
A bird tells me that Stephen has joined us from
Phoenix Organs and is perusing our site.
Hi Stephen from all at Fredandfreds...
Richard's Organ
Would anyone like to see a picture of Richard's organ?? He has sent it to me and if there is enough interest I will "get it up" for you all.... Let me know....Labels: richard
Mystery Guest Organist Competition - The Solution
Linking on from our Ian McEwan the Organist spot, we have another competition for you.
This is the Mystery Guest Organist competition.
The first person to guess the correct identity of the organist pictured below will win the right to have their picture of choice published.
No clues given
Neither the contributor of this picture nor any of the contributors immediate family may enter this competition....The correct answer to this question:
This is a picture of the previous Organist and Master of the Choristers at Belfast Cathedral. The picture was submitted to me anonymously but is, I am assured, genuine.
Birthdays!!
I forgot to mention that it is Isla's birthday on Sunday and she is away to Leeds to see a music festival - I think I've got all that right.
Anyway we celebrated her birthday in the office by producing a cake for her from Marks and Spencers (pictured) and it took her so by surprise that she sang "Happy Birthday" with us unaware that it was actually for her. She felt a bit wick about that and went very red which is exactly why I'm now repeating the story on a globally accessible platform for her.
Anyway that leads me nicely on to
my birthday which is August the 31st. That's next week. I'm just saying - you have been told. As usual I want pants and socks - there's nothing else - oh except I would like a full massage - I've always wanted to do that.
Labels: birthday
I never posted
this link and I should have done it ages ago - here are the photo's I have for Jenny and Chris's wedding.
If anyone else has any pictures they have of this fab day can they forward them to me - I was obviously singing during the day so I got no pictures of the ceremony itself.
Labels: jenny
THE WINNER!!!
Byte has correctly e-mailed me the answer to today's quiz and therefore he wins the first prize. We await his article with great interest, the man of mystery that he is.
Susan from the bank wins second prize and second prize is a night out at Belfast Cathedral car park with me in Fred's van.
Richard from the printing press wins third prize which is a night out with me and Susan in Fred's van. Way hay!!!
4th place was Jonny from Diageo (I hope I've spelled that correctly)
I may start a leader board next week - who knows - and offer a grand prize at the end of the week - now wouldn't that be fun?
The correct answer was of course CHICAGO - a camp musical which I nearly went to see in the Grand Opera House not so long ago but then forgot to book and missed. I was gutted. More to the point no-one offered to take me as a treat.
Labels: Susan
Uncle Sam
I have noticed whilst going through the logs that this site is attracting quite a few visits from people in the US.
This got me thinking - what could we do with that being a Belfast based community of mainly music lovers.
I would like you to think about that - maybe you could all suggest aspects / areas of interest to our visitors from the states and perhaps our visitors could tell us a bit about where they live and what they do for "kicks"
Hope you all left a nice message for
Sandbox who is about to go off to Iraq again and if not please do.
M
Today's Quiz
Today's quiz is a picture one. However the rules (such as they never were) are being amended. Instead of giving the answer "Willy Nilly", the answer will be posted at 2.00 pm (or thereabouts)
Now the question.
Look at the above picture and tell me what is the name of the famous city it depicts.
Quick Quick !!
First person to submit the answer gets absolutely nothing!!
Tennents Vital
Our Isla - Happy Birthday Babe (It's her birthday)I surprised myself by really enjoying my night at Tennents Vital thing last night in the park.
One group which I really liked was the "Futureheads" who I think were unbilled. They had a focus on vocal work which made all the guitar stuff bearable. They did a really interesting version of "Hounds of Love by Kate Bush"
Special thanks to Isla who really helped me through my initial anxiety when on arrival finding literally a sea of extremely drunk people. For about 15 minutes I could hear the lyrics of "I Predict a Riot" playing over and over in my head and the words were never more alive.
There may be more photo's if I get time today.
Labels: Concert
Solution to Old Man Wrinkly Balls
JONNY ROBERTS FROM SOUTH BELFAST IS OUR WINNER AGAIN!!!
Jonny if you could choose another photo for us to display on your behalf and e-mail it to me...
Here's how it works:
Fraction of life as a boy = 1/4
Fraction of life as a youth = 1/8
Fraction of life as an active man = 1/2
Fraction of life as boy, youth and active man = 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/2 = (2 + 1 + 4)/8 = 7/8
Fraction of life as an old man = 1 - 7/8 = 1/8
Thus, one-eighth of Man Wrinkle's life (as an old man) is 12 years.
So, Old Man Wrinkly Balls Age = 96 years.Labels: photos
My Gift
I have had so much correspondence regarding my gift to you all - the bottle of Sangria in the shape of a duck. Here at Fred and Fred's we have been literally INUNDATED with QUERIES.
Many people have commented on my good taste in presents and with that in mind I thought I would share with you all the house warming present I bought for my good friends Richard and Susan.
As they have immaculate taste it was difficult to decide upon an item that I felt comfortable with giving them.
However after one trip to T K Maxx and I had found the perfect gift. You see Richard and Susan have a very classic style to their home and I wanted my gift to effortlessly meld into their decor concept. That's why I bought them "Fanjiter" - I thought that it could go on the top of their television. As it happens they say it lends itself much better to their upstairs study. They say that it is such a personal gift that they would like to keep it in a less formal room.
Anyway here is Fanjiter for you to see - I think you wil agree she is quite magnificent.
Labels: richard, Susan
Another Puzzle
Here is another little puzzler for you....
Old Man Wrinkly-Balls spent one-fourth of his life as a boy, one-eighth as a youth, and one-half as an active man. If Old Man Wrinkly Balls spent 12 years as an old man, then how many years did he spend as an active man?
Quick Quick!!!
The Kings Of Leon - you recognise them don't you? I received a bit of a surprise - I have, at very short notice, won 2 VIP tickets to the
Tennents thing which is on at Botanic Gardens tonight through work.
The headlining bands are
Faithless, and
The Kings of Leon. I'm really looking forward to it as I have been a big fan of both these groups ever since I was a little boy.
OK so that was a lie - I've never heard of either. Well I think I heard a song by faithless once because they had a song on the soundtrack to "
The Beach" which I like.
As for the Kings of Leon... Well I have no idea what they might be. But VIP tickets in a marquis sounds good to me. Last night the
Scissor Sisters were playing - now I like them and know what they are all about. Lovers in the Back Seat is my favourite song by the Scissor Sisters but I really like Mary as well. I could hear the concert from my apartment balcony and it sounded brilliant. I was so jealous I wasn't there - you could hear that the crowd was really loving it.
Anyway Hey Ho -I'm bringing the lovely Isla with me to it as she DOES know who these people are.
The SandBox Files
This blog really made me stop and think. Please go there and leave this guy a message - he's facing a really tough experience to say the least.
My Gift to you all.
I brought you back a present from Puerto Pollensa
I don't generally bring presents back for people - I'm of the opinion that it's slightly old fashioned - a little illogical at best and quite bizarre at worst. I mean what with the airlines imposing excess baggage fees on you if you so much as pack one pair of pants over their impractical limit, why the hell would you be lugging home lollipop-stick donkeys, bottles of Calvados and sticks of rock for people as well as your own stuff- it's insane.
Anyway, that said, I brought home a present from Puerto Pollensa and it's for everyone. Well technically it is for Richard and Susan who lent me their camera while I was away. They will be, I am sure, only too happy to invite you round to view it. It is, after all, for everyone to enjoy.
It's a bottle of Sangria in the shape of a duck. I hope you all like it. Here it is.
Labels: Holiday
Jonny Roberts - Our winner for today!!
As Jonny was the fastest (and only) contestant who submitted the correct answer to our hilarious Bat and Ball competition, he won the right to submit a photograph to be shared with you all.
He e-mailed me this picture (below) and said the following:
Mark,
This is my favourite place in the world- having a BBQ on the shore of my Granda's farm in the Isle of Man. Enjoy...
Jonny Roberts
PS Mark you are a fantastic looking guy and I would.Well Jonny, here it is. Thanks for your input and congratulations!!
PS I would too.
Labels: Jonny Diageo
IQ Test
Quick question for you - answers should be submitted below in the comments section. Winner gets the opportunity to have a picture of their choice put up on this very site . . .
If a bat and a ball cost £1.10 and the ball is £1 dearer than the bat, what price is the ball?
Quick Quick!!
Jonny Roberts of South Belfast has the correct answer and wins the prize stated. Jonny as you are already featured within these pages in more than graphic form, would you like to forward a picture to be included RIGHT HERE on Fred and Fred's??
Ian McEwan
Some people may wish to know who Ian McEwan is.
Ian McEwan was well known as a prolific best-selling writer of popular fiction but mysteriously switched careers at the age of 22 to become one of Twickenham's leading Organists. A Professor at the Paris Conservatoire, McEwan was steeped in the music of the Church from an early age, when he attended the Choir School of Rouen Cathedral. As a composer he is a perfectionist and has destroyed much of what he has written. His highly effective use of themes from Gregorian chant can be seen both in his "McEwan Requiem" and in the group of four motets which includes this setting of the antiphon for Vespers on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
McEwan enjoys regular engagements assisting Ian Mumford at St Mary's Parish Church Twickenham and works regularly with Twickenham Choral Society. He played admirably for their Harvest concert in October 2004 when they performed excerpts from "Annie Get Your Gun!" to almost unanimous applause.
Ian is available as an organist for weddings and funerals and has three cats - Dixie, Trixie and Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock.
Diets - Are they worth it?
I've started another diet today. Yes another. And now I've been dieting for nearly two years and have managed to gain an impressive stone since I started my diet.
If you know me you've had to listen to me banging on about my diets. Literally boring everyone to tears.
Forcing people to buy "Diet Lemonade" in bars for me when ordering rounds, switching around from not wishing to be invited to restaurants to wanting to eat everything on the menu. Telling patient waiters that I don't want the rice or potatoes one week and then give me nothing but rice and potatoes the next.
Well right here is where I face the facts.Diets are for people who wish to gain attention from all around them
Diets only serve to force you to think about food ALL THE TIME
Diets are ....
Well I'm not going to lose weight on a diet let's face it. I'm only going to lose weight by forgetting about food altogether - in fact by forgetting all about WEIGHT altogether - and the only way to do that in this lean-obsessive media environment is to decide I'm actually OK and am the right weight.
And actually I am.
It's the rest of the world that has shrunk.
So I'm off to Sainsbury's to buy houmus and greek salad and more packets of buggery All Bran and jump on this pre-Christmas post holiday merry-go-round and tell myself that this time I'm disciplined enough to do it and that if I can do it for a week then I'm out of the woods...
From now on it's Avocado Salad and Carrot juice (I kid you not - I've got the carrots and I intend to use them- And Marks and Spencers do a great Avocado and Bacon Salad pre packed )
I'm 13 stone 2 and3/4 today (Monday). By next week I'm hoping to at least be under the 13 mark by shitting out the contents of my body.. I'll let you know my progress .
Labels: rant
The Castleford Ladies’ Magical Circle meets tonight,
In an upstairs aspidistra'd room that's lit by candlelight,
Where Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Practice every week unspeakable pagan rites.
Dressed in their Sunday coats and their flowerpot hats,
Respectable middle-aged ladies - running to fat, at that -
There's Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies,
Each with a Woolworth's broomstick and a tabby cat.
But they don't waste time with a ouija board or a seance now and again, no.
None of your wittering, twittering, petty poltergeists for them. No,
Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Prefer to be tickled by the whiskery chins of bogey men.
Their husbands potter at snooker down the club,
Unaware of the devilish jiggery-poke and rub-a-dub-dub,
While Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Are frantically dancing naked for Beelzebub.
And after the witches' picnic and the devil's grog,
After their savage pantings, their hysterical leap-frog,
well,
Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Go back home for cocoa and the Epilogue.
So be careful how you go of a Saturday night:
If you see a little old lady passing by, it very well might be
Elizabeth Jones or Lily O'Grady
Or one of those satanical ladies.
Their eyes are wild and bright,
their cheekbones all alight.
Don't go where they invite,
Because the Castleford Ladies’ Magical Circle meets tonight.
BA Still on strike.
Jonathan David Roberts - His words from his mouth
FULL NAME? Jonathan David Roberts
BIRTHDAY? 10th August 1980 (The year of the monkey)
AGE? 24
WHAT R U LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The voices in my head.
WHAT IS SITTIN NEXT TO U RIGHT NOW? I am all alone.
WHO WOULD U LIKE TO SPEND THE REST OF UR LIFE WITH? Someone special.
WHERE DO U WANT TO GO ON UR HONEYMOON? Venice or Rome or Bordeaux at the moment.
FIRST DAUGHTERS NAME? It can't be the name of an ex-girlfriend so my choices are limited!!.
FIRST SONS NAME? Jonny Junior (only kidding!!)
WHO MAKES U HAPPY? Friends and Family
HOW MANY GREAT FRIENDS HAVE YOU GOT? 6 great ones, 23 good ones, 17 ok ones and 2 not very good ones. (I keep a book on it)
WOT DO U LIKE TO DO? Make people laugh
WHAT DID U DO YESTERDAY? I was working during the day and looking at houses to try and buy one.
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED ON THE PHONE TO? My boss
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Heights & letting other people down.
EYE COLOUR? Blue
HAIR COLOUR? Dark Blonde- no arguments.
DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF? I think I'm only ok.
IF U COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT UR SELF WHAT WOULD IT BE? I can live with my third nipple (it’s the fourth one that I'm not so sure about)
SIBLINGS (IF SO AGE)? Brother, 23.
YOU EVER HATED ANY PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY? No- I couldn't hate anybody.
FAVORITE VEGETABLE? I like them all.
FOOD? Pizza
FAVOURITE FILMS? Amadeus, Gladiator, In the name of the father
LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? Yes, and it's the worst feeling.
TAKEN DRUGS? No
BROKEN THE LAW? Only what would I consider minor infringements.
CHEATED ON A TEST? Can't remember not cheating.
SKINNY DIPPED? No
COME CLOSE TO DYING? Yes, when I was 16- very lucky to be here.
BEEN IN A HOT TUB? Don't think so.
SWAM IN THE OCEAN? Yes- It's one of my favourite things.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT TOO MUCH? Most things- I'm very thoughtful.
SCARS? Yes- mostly from Rugby and Football- the most obvious is the broken nose though.
COUNTRY MUSIC? No thanks
CLASSICAL? Yes please
YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM? My birth-mark- it's always with me.
DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Only if I'm lucky.
VEGETARIAN? Really couldn't survive on just veg.
GOOD AT SPORTS? I try my best which is what sport is about.
A DEEP SLEEPER? Very deep.
SHY? Yes, I have an outer confidence which masks a shy Jonny which hides a deeper more assured person.
A STORYTELLER? A bullshitter. (see above)
LIKE TO SHOP? No thanks
LIKE TO PARTY? I love to party.
WOULD YOU...
EAT A LIVE HAMSTER FOR A MILLION POUNDS I'd give it a go- can I have fries with that?
GO TO A WESTLIFE CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET No, but I'd sell the ticket.
GET ANYTHING PIERCED OTHER THAN YOUR EARS Not even my ears- I don't really see the need.
IF YOU WERE STUCK ON AN ISLAND, WHICH FAMOUS PERSON WOULD YOU WANT WITH YOU - Mark McGuire
WHAT four THINGS WOULD YOU TAKE FROM YOUR HOUSE TO AN ISLAND WITH YOU Swimming trunks, matches, football & a few beers.
Labels: Jonny Diageo
Lincoln Cathedral in Da Headlines
A Roman Catholic nun is leading a protest against the filming of the Da Vinci Code at
Lincoln Cathedral this week. Religious leaders only authorised filming after the movie's producers made a $180,000 donation. Sister Mary Michael said: "I just don't think it is right that they are filming this story here. I know the Bishop and Dean argue that it is fiction - and it might even be brilliant fiction - but it is against the very essence of what we believe."
Incidentally, Lincoln Cathedral Choir has a new CD for sale in the Cathedral Shop. Called "Hail Mary" the CD is priced at £13.99 and is available now. Call 01522 575849 for more details.
Congratulations to
Methodist College Girls' Choir and the Ulster Orchestra on their sell-out concert at the London Proms on Saturday.
Here's a little known fact:
If all the girls of Methodist College were laid end to end...
... I wouldn't be at all surprised!
[plagiarised and adapted from the sayings of Dorothy Parker]
Read the full review here!!!
Alan John Campbell - some handy info...submitted by him...
FULL NAME? Alan John Campbell (Junior) BIRTHDAY? 30/05/1986
AGE? 19
WHAT R U LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Faithless- Salva Mea
WHAT IS SITTIN NEXT TO U RIGHT NOW? Tissues
WHO WOULD U LIKE TO SPEND THE REST OF UR LIFE WITH? People i like
WHERE DO U WANT TO GO ON UR HONEYMOON? Somewher hot
FIRST DAUGHTERS NAME? Kinga
FIRST SONS NAME? Science
WHO MAKES U HAPPY? Anyone with a smile
HOW MANY GREAT FRIENDS HAVE YOU GOT? Several
WOT DO U LIKE TO DO? As little work and as much play as possible
WHAT DID U DO YESTERDAY? Watched TV for 14 hours solid
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED ON THE PHONE TO? A friend
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? The unknown
EYE COLOUR? Bluey-Grey
HAIR COLOUR? Dark Brown
DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF? I try to
IF U COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT UR SELF WHAT WOULD IT BE? My attitude to work
SIBLINGS (IF SO AGE)? Davey C (20/21??)
YOU EVER HATED ANY PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY? Yes
FAVORITE VEGETABLE? Green and red peppers
FOOD? Steak
FAVOURITE FILMS? All the James Bond films, the Rock, Dazed and Confused, India Jones trilogy
LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? Yeah
TAKEN DRUGS? Yup
BROKEN THE LAW? Nothing serious
CHEATED ON A TEST? Yeah
SKINNY DIPPED? Not yet
COME CLOSE TO DYING? Yeah, after every night on Vod&RedBull
BEEN IN A HOT TUB? Yup
SWAM IN THE OCEAN? Yeah
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT TOO MUCH? My future
SCARS? Many
COUNTRY MUSIC? Em... no
CLASSICAL? I prefer renaissance
YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM? Havnt found one that has brought me any luck
DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No
VEGETARIAN? Hahahahahahaah... no
GOOD AT SPORTS? OK at some
A DEEP SLEEPER? Not recently
SHY? Sometimes
A STORYTELLER? More like a story-ruiner
LIKE TO SHOP? Nope
LIKE TO PARTY? My favourite pastime!!
WOULD YOU...
EAT A LIVE HAMSTER FOR A MILLION POUNDS? Id do it for a fiver ;o)
GO TO A WESTLIFE CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET? No
GET ANYTHING PIERCED OTHER THAN YOUR EARS? Nope
IF YOU WERE STUCK ON AN ISLAND, WHICH FAMOUS PERSON WOULD YOU WANT WITH YOU? Lady Isabella Hervey
WHAT four THINGS WOULD YOU TAKE FROM YOUR HOUSE TO AN ISLAND WITH YOU? My phone, a football, 24pack of Carlsberg, my dog
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE MOTTO? "Apudne te vel me"
Labels: Alan C
So the question I get asked again and again is :
Exactly who are the Mark McGuire Singers?? What do they do? What type of stuff? What do they represent? How and when can we hear them????? Why are they not on the internet yet???? Tell us please??? Please tell us!!!
The Mark McGuire singers are a small group of uniquely talented musicians drawn from across the globe with a variety of talent but one thing in common. Their name. Admission to the Mark McGuire singers is controlled carefully and membership is extremely selective. Only people who can prove their identity using a birth certificate or passport can even be considered and even when that is validated, the audition process is near on impossible -
that's how good they are.
They have been beavering away feverishlishiously in the studio, working on their album "Mydene and I", and the announcement that is well overdue is now finally with us. I can now sensationally reveal that the World Premiere of the publication of the Mark McGuire singers first Single "Your Song" can be downloaded...
HERE(Right click the link above and select "save as" and save it to play at your leisure!!!)
Jamie Cullum is playing the Waterfront on November the 8th this year and I'd like to go. Fred hasn't got the faintest interest so if anyone feels the urge to accompany me let me know - maybe we could have an "outing"?
Details hereLabels: Waterfront
This is not Majorca so don't even try to work it out.....
Fred Fred are back in Northern Ireland!!
If you wish to see how we got on on holiday (and why wouldn't you) please feel free to look at our photies -
HereWe are looking forward to seeing our peeps again however - two weeks is a long time to do without your routine. Feel free to come see us or give us a buzz.
Also Special Amazing thanks to Bazza and Shazza for taking us on a really fabo holiday. We got an amazing amount out of it just seeing the sights and eatin the grub. My fav day was up a mountain with me Da at a monastry bizarrely drinking Sangria at a wooden table and looking down on Majorca and the bay.
Apologies to Centauro Car Hire / Holiday Auto's for the little nick I put on the side of the Ford Galaxy. However they should be grateful that they got it back at all...
Going now to wash knickers, unwrap duck shaped presents and learn some music for performance with Renaissance Sunday morning at St G's - it's fantastic to get away on holiday and it's just as great to be home.
M XX
Labels: freddy, Holiday, Northern Ireland, photos
FredandFred update
Hi all - we´re still here. Weather still holding although as per Susan´s regular weather reports from home, yesterday was a little cooler and not as "Scorchio"
Today we are all at the beach and I´ve brought my pink lilo down with me. There are some fine surfers doing their thing right in front of us which is marvellous. They are all so good at it....
We went to the restaurant
"Stay" which was very posh - I had Foie Gras for starters and then a Fillet of beef in a Fois Gras sauce which was all fabulous.
Tonight we are all going to a boat buffet type thing and sailing round the island a bit. Tomorrow we go to Palma and last night we had a barbeque at the villa.
A Ga Do Y,all
M XX
Labels: Holiday
Summer Hits
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee,
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees,
Come and dance every night, sing with the hula melody.Sometimes a song just captures the whole essence of a holiday; for me,
Agadoo by Eurovision popsters Black Lace screams Puerto Pollensa 2005. Me and Freddy have taught the whole gang all the moves and it's a perfect way to round off our karaoke evenings by our private pool!
We're going to get our hair done like them when we get back.
What's your favourite summer hit? What does it mean to you and why?
Hello to everyone, We are having a great time - weather is absolutely fabulous. We have two villas each with private swimming pool - yesterday I bought a great big rainbow coloured lilo and look fabulous sitting in the middle of the pool on it. Fred has been drunk the whole time....
Nights are fairly sticky but bearable and so far no sign of many mosquitos on me. Fred got bitten on the flap of his ear however....
Last night was very exciting - an electrical storm right above our heads. I was quite scared but the rest of my "house mates" seemed to really enjoy it - it was quite breathtaking.
Today we are going to just take it easy and hang loose - shopping is done. We may go to Palma later on.
Anyway - will check in again before the end of the week.
M XX
Labels: Holiday
Very important thing to remember
If you are holidaying anywhere near any Germans, it would be very wise to remember this
VERY IMPORTANT FACT!
Scorchio!
Labels: Holiday, photos
This article wouldn't be nearly as eye-catching if accompanied by a picture of a gay middle aged man in a jumper at the cinema 
Richard and Susan
We all enjoyed Jenny and Chris's spread
The Kings Of Leon - you recognise them don't you? 
