Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Today's caption competition

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 Comments: 4

Smithy.com

My good chum Andrew has started up a new website and it's called Smithy.com - why not surf straight over there. www.smithy.com - There are loads of features.


Oh no sorry, that was the wrong address!! It's THIS LINK!!!

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posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 Comments: 0

Monday, February 27, 2006

The Fred Singers pay tribute to Seooooosan!

In celebration of the birthday of our lovely Seooooosan, the Fred Singers made a rare appearance, emerging temporarily from their semi retired status. In a very special collaboration with a talented new artist, Freddy J, they paid tribute with THIS MESSAGE. You may have to right click it and save to hear it in it's fullness...

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posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 27, 2006 Comments: 0

Scary stuff...

Bird flu has hit UK. Click here for details...

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 27, 2006 Comments: 0

It's someone's birthday today... Here's a reminder

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 27, 2006 Comments: 4

Today's Caption... Let's have you.

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 27, 2006 Comments: 5

Friday, February 24, 2006

Today's caption competition - It's over to you....

(Photo kindly supplied by Cazza)

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posted by Freddy @ Friday, February 24, 2006 Comments: 3

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Today's competition is a "Spot the Difference"

With thanks to Rswipe for unearthing such a fabulous photograph.

In all seriousness let's have a caption competition - best caption wins a poem dedicated to a subject of choice on their behalf written by ME!!!

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 Comments: 8

Danish Cartoons

Join me in speaking out against media censorship and click here to view a retaliation to the controversy surrounding the Danish Cartoons....

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 Comments: 1

Fiddler on the Roof

Fiddler on the Roof is "going up" (as they say) on the 7th March through to 11th March.

Once again the award winning Production Team of Director -Wilfie Pyper, Co-Director & Choreographer - Declan Moore and Musical Director - Pat Grayden have put their collective stamp on this Fantastic Show.

A magnificent score performed to the highest quality - FIDDLER pulls at the heartstrings and presents again the talent that is Belfast Operatic - this musical is not to be missed!

Book now by clicking HERE

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 Comments: 0

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Shania Twain

To explain this joke to our international customers, The man speaking is in fact Mr Jonathon Ross, a well known British presenter who is unable to say his "R"s. Thanks to Katrina for this little chuckler....

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posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 21, 2006 Comments: 1

Monday, February 20, 2006

Caption competition

I want suggestions for a caption for this picture please - The winning caption will get their own post!! The picture in case you can't tell is Dr Gillian McKeith the diet "expert" in a fridge full of yummy stuff. POST AWAY!!

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 20, 2006 Comments: 11

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

My Durham Limerick

Oh at Durham they've all got big brains.
But the plumbers and staff are at pains
to remind those shower demons,
their free flowing semen
Is starting to block up the drains!!

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posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 Comments: 2

On this day after Valentines day - Spare a thought for the poor staff at Durham University...

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 Comments: 9

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentines day to you all

Here's my Valentines Day Poem to you all:

I love chicken in a peking sauce
and I love tupperware and buns, hot-cross.
I love camels and I love Kate Moss
And I love dressing up in ladies lip gloss.

I love anything with Keanu Reeves
and I love concerts with long recititives
I love anyone who truly believes
that God is a sun worshiper who favours short sleeves.

I love fluffy rabbits - everybody knows!
and I love firemen with their firemen's hose.
I love anyone who can compose
a poem or a verse of polyphonic prose.

I love horror films - I loved "The Ring"
And I love ribs or chicken in "Peking"
But before this poem ends while in full swing,
I love all of you for reading this thing.
Love Freddy!!!

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 Comments: 3

Cazza's Valentines Day Poem

This is my Valentines Day Poem.

Stuff Red Hearts and Teddy Bears too.
Valentines Day is a big pile of Poo.
So take a red rose and shove it up your bum.
I can guarantee it will be much more fun!

Thankyou Cazza - do you have a valentines day poem to share? Post it or e-mail it without further delay!!!!!

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 Comments: 0

My Poem

Camels, By Fred

Camels have humps
with a rumpety pump
and a rumpety pumpety pump.

They only eat sand
which must be quite bland
And can't be very good for the digestive system can it man??

Is this a good enough poem for you Richard?

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posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 Comments: 0

Monday, February 13, 2006

Congratulations on the new job to Jonny at Diagio - I thought you would like to celebrate with this picture.

Jonny got the job that he has been actually doing for about a year now anyway but they had to interview him for it.

Congrats Jonny - and you can e-mail this link to all your friends and family so they can add their congratulations as well!!

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posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 13, 2006 Comments: 5

This week's burning question....


There is a new "burning question" down the right hand side of this page which I think needs all of your urgent attention...

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 13, 2006 Comments: 1

Fabulous Dahlings


I just wanted to convey to the group "Melisma" how much St George's appreciated our service yesterday. After the service over a cup of tea, many members of the congregation came up to me and said how much they had enjoyed our singing and the standard of the music as being exceptional. Some of these congregants have never had the occasion to speak to me ever before during my 5 year history at St George's so that is really saying something!

I'm sure the men of Melisma won't mind if I particularly pay tribute to the girls who I personally thought sounded stunning and as clear as a bell in that very dry acoustic.

Brian the rector of St George's asked me who we all were or how did it come about and I said that we were all friends who liked to sing together. I thought that was a perfect description!!!

See you all soon and thanks again - I got soooo much out of yesterday!

M X

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posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 13, 2006 Comments: 3

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Fred and Fred's Monopoly

It may interest regular readers that unbeknown to me, Fredordead has been floated on the Fantasy Blog Stock Market!! Click here for details

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 09, 2006 Comments: 3

Listmania

There seems to be a growing vogue on TV these days for producers to compile lists of things and then pass them off as a programme. As easy as it sounds to make a television programme like this, I have noticed that some of them are of a high editorial quality - the music and editing are fantastic. The "opinions" offered by various Z listers are dubious.

However, that's not my BEEF here.

I think that as an interactive idea, we could formulate a weekly "TOP 20 LIST" and then educate the world about the items in this list. Each list would take about two weeks to compile - one week to formulate the list and then one week to vote on the order. You will see how this works as time goes by.

So off to business then.

What were the most striking songs of 2005? I'm not just talking about music released in 2005, but what songs or artists moved you or struck a chord?

Here are mine :

Fix You - Cold Play
Madonna - Sorry
Hope there's Someone - Anthony and the Johnsons
KT Tunstall - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
Suzanne Vega - Fat Man and Dancing Girl
Will Young - Switch it off
Madonna - Hung Up
Nik Kershaw - Stick Around
Madonna - Sorry

Cazza's List (so far)
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

Anna Quay's List
The Libertines - Delaney - because they are, and always will be, my very favourite band and HAVE to be on the list.
Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum - this song IS me
Frank Black & The Catholics - Massif Centrale Super Furry Animals - Don't Give a Fuck Devendra Banhart - I Feel Just Like a Child
Stone Roses - Adored
Beach Boys - Wouldn't It be Nice

Most of these weren't released in 2005 which was a BAD year for music but they define my 2005 memories.

Fucking hell, I LOVE lists.

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 09, 2006 Comments: 2

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My advert - for Cazza

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 Comments: 0

Especially for Jonny Diageo

Click here to see a picture of a chick with big knockers

(This was submitted by Andrew Smith, the Orchestra Manager of the Ulster Orchestra)

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Freddy's Gallery - Miss Lavinia Logan for your pleasure (and me)

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, February 07, 2006 Comments: 19

Monday, February 06, 2006

Richard's Poem of the day. Do you have a poem of the day to offer?

Arse

The arse went parp
And turned yellow
And shat strawberries
And was mellow.

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 06, 2006 Comments: 1

Thanks to Katrina for this one...

posted by Freddy @ Monday, February 06, 2006 Comments: 0

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The future

Want to freak yourself out a bit??? Go to this website

posted by Freddy @ Sunday, February 05, 2006 Comments: 0

Fantastic Website

The best website I have found in years and years - try it for instant gratification...

posted by Freddy @ Sunday, February 05, 2006 Comments: 2

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Things that annoy... Richard again!! (Written by Richard) - PEOPLE WITH NO RHYTHM!! Do you have an untapped annoyance? Vent it here for free!!


People with no rhythm: it amazes me that there are people who have no sense of rhythm or speed. Surely this is a basic function like the ticking of a clock or the beating of your heart? Obviously as a musician it is one of the basic requirements along with not being tone deaf, but yet I come across people all the time who can't count or keep a steady beat. Why is this? This first became a frustration of mine when I started conducting choirs and certain people just couldn't keep in time but I take great exception to those who profess to be "musicians" and cannot perform this basic task. I can think of 2 particular cases and these people get paid huge amounts of money as musicians but yet have no rhythm!! USELESS FUCKERS!!

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posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 2

Things that annoy... Cazza (written by my sister Cazza in London) - TOURISTS ON THE TUBE!!!


Tourists on the Tube. Stupid Twats all of them. They amble along at a snails pace during rush hour and then stop dead in the most unusual places where any half wit should know not to stop. For example as soon as they step off an esculator. Are they trying to cause a human pile up? And their stupid wheelie cases get left unattended, which ends up causing a security alert and the station gets closed for about half an hour and everything descends into chaos. They bug me so much!

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 0

Things that annoy.... Richard!! (Written by Richard)- WORKMATES!!


People at work: they think because you spend 8 hours a day with them you have to be their best friend. They say things like "How was your weekend?" or "What are you doing this weekend?". FUCK OFF! I CAN'T STAND THE SITE OF YOU! Why do they think that because I have to spend 8 hours a day in this hellhole that it will be any better if I go for a drink with them or go for a night out with them when I would rather be spending time with my friends outside of work who I actually like? GET A FUCKING LIFE OF YOUR OWN!!! CUNTS.

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posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 0

Things that annoy us

Street beggars : Of course I've got some change for a cup of tea! What a stupid fucking question.

I even have a kettle and a house all mystically paid for by having a job and an ounce of self respect and I've never had to borrow 50p off anyone to pay for it

If you were to come up to me wearing a nice smart suit and a shirt and tie and ask me for money then maybe I'd reconsider.

If not then you are either not entitled to my money or I don't want to give it to you and my conscience rests fine with either..... Now fuck off !!

What annoys you? Care to comment in my new daily feature "Things that annoy us" ?? If your comment is good enough it will appear on the front page for the world to see!!

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 2

Breast feeding

"Not bitty now bitty later!!!"

Did you see the thing on the telly box last night about extreme breast feeding? If you didn't you really missed a fantastic thought provoking piece of telly.

One mum was still breast feeding her daughter until the little girl was eight!! Eight!! I was first shocked and a little troubled until the child spoke and started talking about her mummy's boobies and which one she prefered and then I was absolutely horrified.

And then I started thinking - is this just a taboo thing? Are we "abnormalising" something in society that is absolutely the most natural thing in the world?

Womens breasts dry up only when they stop being regularly "milked" or so the film seemed to be saying. In cave man days (I always hate this argument but anyway) they would have breast fed far later than we currently do.

Another couple were "weaning" their children off "bitty" milk overnight and the results were fairly decisive. The kids reacted like they were being denied cocaine. They cried, they stomped up and down they screamed - they were really going through it.

So what is the "right" age to stop your child from boobie milk? And why is it horrifying to have an eight year old still at the nipple?

Your comments please....

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 5

Richard's Ad

Click here for Richard's Ad - Be warned it is rude - under 18 year olds should not go there unless you have a very open mummy...

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 0

Andrew's Ad....

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, February 02, 2006 Comments: 0

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Richard's Advert!! - Smithy do you have one?

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posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, February 01, 2006 Comments: 1

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