Friday, September 16, 2005

A Sermon on All Things Irritating

 
I'm a fairly happy go lucky guy. I like my friends. The top layer of my personality, the crispy crunchy sugar coated outer shell, is basically very simple : I like to please people.
 
However those who know me, who really know me, know that I am very easily irritated. I am not so sure that I am that different in this respect. We all have our little "things" that displease us. The most unfair thing is that these "things" can be tolerated in some people but not in others. For example if there is someone in your life who irritates you greatly then these "things" can be magnified to the power of 1000.
 
My personal thing (or one of them) is unrequested physical contact. Now don't get me wrong - I am not some physical retard who never had a hug as a child and who lives life wearing white gloves not touching door-knobs - quite the reverse. I love a good hug. I love physical contact with people I love. I had the greatest hug ever last night with a really good friend and that feels great.
 
But unrequested sudden jumpy physical contact is a whole different matter. It makes my skin crawl and the worst thing about it is the fact that you usually have to smile through it and not display your irritation for social reasons. Having, say, someone poke you unexpectedly in the sides, or put the back of their hand to your face to show you how cold it is outside, or wake you out of your sleep by pressing a cold beer can against your nipple - that sort of thing....
 
Therefore my sermon to you all is that in future, now that I have established that I am generally a lovely person who wants to please everyone around me, and now that I have laid out the ground rules about my small "thing" ; please don't look at me in open mouthed wonder and amazement if I flip my lid and act in a completely unreasonable manner when man-handled or tweaked. From now on social reasons will not preclude me from turning green and ripping my shirt open....

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