What would Jesus do???
Searching around for their inspiration in life, resolute Christians I am told often ask themselves "WWJD?" or "What would Jesus do?"Apparantly he would not these days be going around making tables, chairs and any other peace-loving things you care to mention made out of wood. Nor would he be attending to the sick or caring for old people. Nor indeed would he be trying to bring people to at least try and "love one another". No No. Apparantly Jesus of Nazareth's first priority would now be marching up and down the High Streets of Great Britain and in particular, Belfast City Hall (as pictured) with a big placard that reads "Sodomy is Sin" or to put it another way, "God hates the Fags and so should you if you want to go to heaven"
Normal non-sinning good people who flick through the good book will actually find themselves hard pressed to come up with anti-gay sentiment. The Bible seems to shy away from the subject and in some chapters, it seems not to want to touch the subject with a ten foot pole.
However it seems that for the modern Christian, the Bible is one big old book about hating queers; they're constantly finding startling new chapters with new stories about queer bashing. "On hearing this the disciples paused for a moment and then said they unto Jesus, "What about the gays Lord? Jesus flinchethed and vomited briefly before declaring "Oh my people, I don't like the gays much. Their white vests and love of camp music maketh me wretch. Anyway back to the lepers - now we CAN heal them"
In fact, according to the New Testament, Jesus never mentioned bum sex once. Bum sex was not on Jesus's list of things to sort out. Furthermore. the dainty young lesbians who had their wedding in Belfast City Hall at which the above picture was taken had few thoughts (at least we presume) on consumating their marriage with a spot of bum sex. On their wedding day "Sodomy" was not on their to-do list, making the above protest even more bewildering.
Nor did Jesus ever mention any other gay related issue. It was never mentioned. Not once. I suppose it is possible he planned on tackling the issue face on and was going to make a speech on the subject right after Easter but I guess we'll never know...
posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Comments: 1
