Where has our Freddy been?
In case you are wondering (not that you probably are) I have been a bit quiet recently.That's because I was at the annual conference that my employer has every year in Birmingham. I don't want to go into the details of where I work but it's a large telecommunications firm and this conference was a BIG deal!
They must have spent a bloody FORTUNE!
There were 600 delegates and the hall was massive. It was all multi platformed set and interactive keypads on seats with televistion cameras and microphones - it was more like appearing on Oprah Winfrey than going to a work thing. VERY scary as you felt at any second they might shove a microphone under your face and ask you something in front of 600 big wigs.
Near the end they had an awards ceremony, and as some of you know I was one of 5 people nominated for the UK Customer Service Ambassador award. The prize was two nights at the Ritz in London for me and Freddy, and I would have loved to have reported to him and to you that I got it but some other bitch did!! However I really was delighted to be nominated - out of all those employees we have (Thousands in the UK), it was quite a big deal.
Once the evangelist style speeches and back slapping were all over, we had to get changed into DJ's and black dresses and go to the "Gala Dinner". This it was really over the top - fabulous. They had dinner entertainment in the form of this "Stomp" style group who banged percussion in a tribal style in crazy outfits - really breathtaking stuff. Also a Trio of opera singers who were dressed up as chefs and who came out into the audience with microphones and made people sing!
Then after the meal "DJ SPOONIE" (From BBC Radio One) took over and rocked the hall - by that stage I was so plastered that I didn't know where I was. DJ sSpoonie is pictured right with my boss and the NI Sales manager - my boss is on the left and "Spoonie" is in the middle!Meanwhile, I had befriended someone from credit control in england called Laura Doda (whose name rhymes with Voda) and I was trailing her round the place and having a great time!! She and her friend were gorgeous and all the men wanted her but they were draped round me cos that's what wee poofs do!! My male colleagues from NI suddenly started showing a great interest in finding out how I was getting on......
The following morning - not so good. Agonising head and a flight home to face. They still wanted us to come back for a few more lectures and they kicked these off at 10.00 with a woman who got us all singing and clapping. She made us sing (with thumpingly full hangovers) a reworked version of Queen's "One vision" with the words changed round to be all about teamwork and goal achieving in the work place. It really was like something out of "The Office" and it was surreal and here is a very short but you will agree very bizarre flavour of that.
I had a ball overall even though I am too cynical to buy into the whole message of "One big happy family" - but Christ I wouldn't want to be the man who signs off the expenses sheet...
posted by Freddy @ Saturday, March 18, 2006
Comments: 7
