Exterminate.... Mate!!
It's getting to the stage when Saturday night is becoming a social "can't do" evening in my little black book. Why?? It's just too full of fabulous television!
And this for me centers around two of the gayest things known to man - musicals and Doctor Who.
Every week another "Poor Poor Joseph" has to do the sing off before being hilariously blubbed at by the other wannabees and then returns to his dressing room to contemplate "If my life were important"
"Grease is the Word" on ITV is frankly just another talent show rip off - but still worth a look.
And then there are the Daleks....
For the Daleks it seems to be all about location these days as well as extermination. Your average tourist may seek destinations on foreign shores that ensure cheap booze and a tan, but the Daleks like nothing more than plotting world domination by setting up camp alongside familiar landmarks.
This week, the Dalek Cult of Skaro's customs-defying temporal shift to 1930's New York was the order of the day. The daleks (four remaining ones) are using the basement of the Empire State Building as their lair - where else? They are assisted by the "pig men" - a genetic warning or just a horrendous LSD flash back - you decide.
This wasn't the first time the tinny tourists have checked out New York though. For back in 1965 they scoured the top of the Empire State Building for William Hartnell's first Doctor in episode three of 'The Chase'.
In 2005's stunning episode 'Dalek', one lone (and increasingly insecure) metallic monster found itself in a museum deep below the Utah salt plains in 2012. Poor creature. The last of its kind (or so it thought) and constantly tortured - yet unable to venture outside and sample the super size American culture.
The Dalek did manage a brief glimpse at the American skyline, exposing its mutant flesh to sunlight by shooting a hole in the ceiling. Surely the Dalek should have applied at least a Factor 24 before risking the rays? Mind you, it topped itself shortly afterwards so why not head off into the afterlife with a bit of a tan...
Your average Dalek seems to a Londoner at heart though. It's a surprise they don't start adopting a mockney accent given their fondness for encountering England's capital city. "Exterminate - mayte"
They made their London debut in 1964's 'The Dalek Invasion of the Earth', which included iconic images of the aliens twiddling their plungers around landmarks like Nelson's Column and Trafalgar Square. One phenomenal cliffhanger also featured a Dalek emerging from the depths of the River Thames to confront the time travellers on the bank. That makes the whale that turned up a couple of years ago look like very small fry indeed.
Several other London-centric stories followed over the next four decades, with 1983's 'Resurrection of the Daleks' portraying a grim, grimy city - miles away from the red bus iconography depicted in the current series. Most recently, the Daleks opted to give the London Eye a miss and took to the skies above Canary Wharf themselves for the breathtaking view.
However, the most bizarre tourist hotspot for our mutants - by a nautical mile - has to be their trip to the infamous Mary Celeste ghost ship off the shore of Portugal in 'The Chase'. Using their time travel device to hunt The Doctor, the Daleks turned up when the Celeste still had a crew - but quickly ensured they did not last for long. This sequence should be noted for containing the most fabulous Dalek death ever. One of them takes a wrong turn for no explicable reason other than stupidity and glides off the plank into the sea, emitting a shriek in the process. This has to be seen to be believed.
They've hit the UK and the USA on numerous occasions so surely it's time for the Daleks to explore some new territory. We recommend the Cult of Skaro book a tour of duty to Barcelona. Or Dublin. Or what about Amsterdam?? Perhaps sampling a few of the city’s finest herbal concoctions will make our Dalek Sec chill out a bit over his fears of extinction...
Please do not watch the next video unless you are made of sturdy stuff. You have been warned. Watch as a boxer dog howls with terror out at the impending Dalek invasion...
© 2007 Fredordead
posted by Freddy @ Monday, April 23, 2007
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