Oooooooh my God it's nearly X factor time again!!!
Tomorrow night, another X Factor contestant will be eliminated from the show, straight back in to the loving arms of sweet anonymity. But who will it be?This week, the X Factor elimination is pretty much a two-horse race, or a five-horse race if you count each member of The Conway Sisters as an individual horse. Although tomorrow's X Factor elimination is almost certainly going to be between the Sisters and Chico, it might just be worth bracing yourself for a surprise...
Journey South - Personally I hope they go down the busking route a little more tomorrow and come onstage stinking of Special Brew, trying to play the theme tune to The Simpsons on a battered old out-of-tune guitar with only one string and then passing out, mumbling indiscriminate insults. Then I'd vote for them.
Andy Abraham - Perhaps it was a mistake to get him to sing such a huge song in the first week - everything that followed has seemed like a disappointment. Andy needs to come out with a monster of a showstopper to cement his X Factor status this week. And also it would be nice if he stopped thanking all his "fans." That's just a bit creepy.
Shayne Ward - Invincible Shayne has fallen down the popularity rankings for the first time in weeks. Who knows why? Maybe it was because he sang such a dreadfully boring song last week, or maybe everyone is getting fed up of being told what a singing genius he is. But this week he's bound to correct his flaws by belting out an all-singing, all-dancing modern pop number like, um, Smooth Criminal or something.
Brenda Edwards - I think the British population are starting to accept that image is not the defining factor they should look for in a pop star, and that Brenda's voice is the important thing. Or maybe it's just because Brenda isn't such a fat bitch anymore. Who knows?
Maria Lawson - Maria, on the other hand, is closer to elimination that she has ever been. I blame James Blunt, naturally - although she sang You're Beautiful very well last week, it's still one of most pants songs ever written. Actually, if she's sung another song I have still blamed James Blunt. We just like blaming him for stuff. James Blunt. Blunt..... Blunt.....
Nicholas Dorsett - Now we're into the X Factor contestants that may feasibly get the chop tomorrow. Although Nicholas performed abominably last week, he probably didn't deserve to be put up for elimination. But since he was, the nation will be looking at him with critical eyes tomorrow. Unless he does something very very special. Which he probably won't.
Chico Slimari - Chico is now the perennial favourite for eviction. Even if he delivered a spot on version of Nessun Dorma that left everyone watching in tears, he'd probably still be put up for elimination. He won't sing Nessun Dorma, though. He'll shriek some crappy old godforsaken song and shout "It's Chico time!" a billion times instead. Don't write Chico off, though. He's survived this far.
The Conway Sisters - I'm now convinced that the only thing keeping the Conway Sisters in X Factor is the weight of the Irish vote. The only people that could possibly still be voting for such a useless set of gormless singers are people who feel a tiny amount of national pride for them. The Conway Sisters are so bad that they make me want to cry. But, with an entire country voting for them, I can't help feeling that they won't go tomorrow, no matter how bad they are.
As for you guys, here is the result of your poll.
Chico (6)
43%
Nicholas (5)
36%
Andy (1)
7%
The Conway Sisters (1)
7%
Journey South (1)
7%
Shayne (0)
0%
Maria (0)
0%
Brenda (0)
0%
YOU seem to want Chico out. Let's see if you are right....ON SATURDAY NIGHT!!! I'm bringing in a couple of tins of Diamond White and 20 Mayfair Blue for me and Freddy to guzzle on the settee with our dear friends Richard and Judy.
In the meantime have a great weekend....
Labels: X Factor
posted by Freddy @ Friday, November 11, 2005
Comments: 1
