Heather Mills Apparently Not A Gold-Digger, Says Heather Mills
I haven't said too much about what I think about Heather Mills yet. So far I have had my own thoughts but I know that you should try never to take sides in these things. Divorce is a transaction in my view and should be carried out with a minimum of fuss.According to the media, Heather Mills is either a helpless disabled abused wife with an evil, controlling, drug-addled millionaire husband or a bit of an annoying gold-digger. Take your pick. Believe what you want and get on with your life - who really cares what you think?
Well apparantly Heather Mills does.
Most of the public, you see, appears to have sided against Heather Mills ever since she and Paul McCartney split up, and Heather Mills isn't essentially all that happy about that.
That's why Heather Mills has granted an interview so that she can put the world right on what a nice person she is and how people love her so much that she's often hugged by strangers on the street. Seriously. Small dogs lick her ankle on a regular basis...
Here's a selection of Heather Mills quotes you can look forward to seeing during the interview:
"I'm a good mother, I'm a good person. I fell in love for the right reason. I fell in love unconditionally."
"I haven't got a lover. At the moment, I'm focusing on my daughter. It's totally made up!"
"I didn't know that many people cared. You get to know who your friends are and I haven't lost any friends."
"Eighty-five percent of my income goes to my charity. The word gold digger doesn't go with that. If I was a gold digger, I would have a lot of money in my bank account… I'd be worth millions and millions."
So with these rather lame quotes, it looks as if the interview won't go too far in repairing Heather Mills' damaged reputation, either.
Surely it's just a matter of time before Heather Mills resorts to her fail-safe method of winning people round - covering her boobs in whipped cream, holding a whip and licking a man's red jelly penis in another embarrassing German sex book.
That'd probably do it. Let it Be Heather, Let it Be. I'm speaking words of wisdom..... Let it Be...
posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, November 21, 2006
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