How many of these do you recognise?
SYMPTOMS OF BEING OVER 251. You leave clubs before the end to
"beat the rush".
2. You get more excited about having
a roast on a Sunday than going
clubbing the night before.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a
professional footballer and start
dreaming of having a son who might
instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper
away, you look through the
property section.
5. All of a sudden, middle aged
people are not 46, they are only 46.
6. Before going out anywhere, you
ask whether there is anywhere to
park.
7. Rather than throw a knackered
pair of trainers out, you keep them
because they'll be alright for the
DIY or in the garden.
8. You buy T-shirts without anything
written on them.
9. Instead of laughing at the
innovations catalogue that falls out
of the newspaper, you suddenly see
both the benefit and money saving
Properties of most of the things
that are in it.
10. You start to worry about your
parents' health.
11. You have more disposable income,
but
everything you want or need
to buy costs between 200 and 500
quid.
12. You don't get funny looks when
you buy a Disney video or a
Wallace And Gromit bubble bath, as
the sales assistant assumes they
are for your children.
13. Pop music all starts to sound
the same.
14. You opt for Pizza Express over
Pizza Hut because they do a
really nice half-bottle of house
red.
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that
you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent
trendy bars and restaurants in the
mistaken belief that you have not
turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV
channels, you happen upon C4's
Time Team with Tony Robinson. You
get drawn in.
18. The benefits of
a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick
up a colour chart from B&Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself
saying "They don't make 'em like that
anymore" and "I remember when there
were only 4 TV channels" and
"Not in my day...."
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know
than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine
has some really interesting guests
on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people
who take ages to get off the
bus, You tut at rowdy school
children.
25. When sitting outside a pub you
admire their hanging baskets.
26. You find yourself saying "is it
cold in here or is it just meĀ© 2006 Fredordead