2006!!!
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
Fred and I are away to a party at Pam and David's house and I'll probably have a cuddle with baby Erynn.
Hope 2006 is fabulous for you all. I don't have trendy moving firework graphics like some blogs I've visited so you will have to do with the pathetic illustation of celebration above...
LOVE ON Y'ALL (to borrow a phrase)
Fred XX
Labels: New Year
Various Christmas Photo's
My step sister Cazza and my sister Katrina.
Richard and Susan
Andrew in full party swing
For more of my photo's taken over Christmas (who knows - you may even be in them) please feel free to click HERE
Labels: Susan
Album Cover of the Day
My Rant
Fred is in the room next door watching a bloody Kylie Minogue concert on a DVD he has got from someone for Christmas. I bloody hate Kylie Minogue. I can hear her from this room singing "OVER THE RAINBOW" and she is truly pants. The final stanza, "If happy little bluebirds fly above the rainbow WHY OH WHY CAN'T I???" is being slowed way down for dramatic effect and belted out at the top of her tinny, metalic, nasal, doubletracked over reverb and chorus effect untrained voice. No amount of spangly twinkly twangly outfit and "sexy" plastic bottom could dress up this bilge.
Kylie Minogue initially hauled herself up on the back of a very cheap and at the time fairly dodgy Australian soap, nicked all Madonna's stuff and was caught out by the public nearly as quickly as Jason Donovan lost his hair. Her and Jason WERE the essence of dumbed down Britain at the time. However after a few years, music with substance became somehow popular - this was a temporary thing - and Kylie slinked off to Japan and trundled out some shite till she was dumped by her label. Jason joined a west end musical and then seemingly disappeared.
Kylie is now described in the media as making a "comeback" for a good reason. She was abandoned in the mid nineties by her public - she admits this. Britain had remembered albeit only briefly how to have musical taste. Pete Waterman et al stopped releasing crud and quality became miraculously important to British music listeners.
Now for the last three years or so Kylie (and her types) are BACK!! Maybe this is because our taste has got to that stage again. Maybe X factor Britain is hungry once again for production over talent. But don't worry, mainstream good musical taste is also making a comeback - It's true I read it in Vogue....
I would like to ask the question - What point has Kylie Minogue ever made? She has never once "said" anything - never stood up for anything - never declared her hand on any subject. When interviewed it's all about Scott Robinson and Charlene or any subject that doesn't mean anything or have any side of the fence. I think it is part of a celebrity / artist's duty to have a stand on at least SOMETHING otherwise it's a real waste of a public profile. Bland bland bland. Not even a great voice. Does anyone out there have any idea what Kylie Minogue THINKS of anything? It's an honest question - feel free to respond. I can't think of a thing.
Now I don't want to get all "Madonna" on you all, because I know that some of you can't stand her. But Madonna is an artist with many layers not just the spangles. Hell yes - she divides opinion - that's her forte. She deliberately challenges people to at least think about things and at the same time belt out her songs. Her "American Life" song in her last tour was accompanied not by Madonna on stage on a trapese in a twinkly spangly outfit and spotlight (a la Kylie "Over the Rainbow") but rather with Madonna and entourage in full military costume with graphic scenes of people in a war situation on the screens behind her. "I'm just living out the American dream and I've just realised that nothing is what it seems" she screamed at the crowds as the helicopters and missiles roared overhead. It wasn't pleasant to watch. It was however exciting and challenging. This is mainstream music that at least means something.
Please spangle away Kylie Minogue but next time make your "come back" for a reason and let's hear what you actually think. Be daring and use your enormous profile to make people think. And if you do have a stand on something - make it a lot louder because I haven't yet heard it.
Labels: X Factor
Just because...
A New Look for a New Year
You may have noticed that we've had a facelift...
I decided to crisp FRED'S up a bit and make it all more enclosed with clearer sections on the right. HTML is getting quite exciting - I can nearly say that I'm on the cusp of having the smallest idea of what I am doing now.
I'm also launching a new feature, which I am calling "
THIS WEEK'S LIST EXCLAMATION MARK"
"
THIS WEEK'S LIST EXCLAMATION MARK" will be entirely interactive. It will be written BY YOU - THE PUBLIC!! (As they say on all the most sensational TV shows) The idea is so simple .. but I'm not telling you any more - you have to tune in to see it on Jan 1st 2006.
In the meantime please leave me a comment on what you think of the new look Freds - Do you like it? Do you?? Do you??
Labels: New Year
Album Cover of the Day
Freds Christmas / New Years Honours List
I decided today to afford the time to write an actual blog article to you all thanking you for your visits and support over the year.
It's a funny thing but this blog only started in late July. It seems to me to have been around forever and I really don't know if I could ever do without it now. My input has been at times patchy and at times regular as clockwork. Back in the days of Sept / Oct, readers will remember that I ran a daily "quiz" - this attracted around 60 visits A DAY and was great crack but it required a lot of work and eventually I ran out of steam.
The identity of the mysterious and incredibly rude "Byte" generated quite a bit of interest not least of all from me. It turned out to be Richard who was the very last person I thought it could be. If I were to be transported into a Miss Marple mystery, I don't think I would fare very well... It's no wonder I was crap at the murder mystery evening that Fi and Richard organised last year!! In the end I think J'accused the fondue set that night.
Anyway I digress. I don't do Christmas Cards - I can't be bothered and I think one less person chopping up trees must be a good thing. Don't get me wrong though - I love getting them! So ....
Instead of Christmas Cards, A Fred's OBE (Order of the Blog Empire) goes to some special people this Christmas, both online and real live face to face friends, who have been particularly great this year to me and who all make my life fantastic. Apologies if any of this is over sentimental but that's what I do best...If I leave anyone out let me know - it's just cos I'm stupid rather than that I've forgotten them...
FRED AND FRED OBE'S
to
Alan C who has started a new life in Edinburgh and who is lovin it..
to
Andrew my rock....(!)
to
Shazza Cazza Lazza and Jazza.....
to
Matthew and Clare my annual relatives
to
my Dad who I love enormously and with whom I had the nicest day of my life earlier on this year up a small mountain in Majorca
to
my Mum who has had a terrible year but who is doing great despite everything
to
Byte(!)
to
Clair, Leanne, wee Gerard and Anne in Dunmurry and England who are all making millions for an ungrateful man
to
Clare and Geoff who have both had a tough year and for whom 2006 can only be better
to
Courtney the conductor who will be an amazing world class name some day
to
Darran in Cork
to
David R and his curlie wurly hair - keep the curly wurly curries coming
to
David and Pamela and little Erin, little Erin has melted my heart and some day she'll probably break it…
to
Fi and Richard who are coming back to NI and facing the unknown
to
Gillian our Barts director and my life-longest serving bestest friend,
to
Eric one of my other dads...
to
Jenny and Chris our other newlyweds who invited us to their fab wedding dancing where I had a ball!!
to
Jonny Ireland our Son
to
Jonny Roberts in his new house that he has worked so hard for
to
Karin and Charles,
to
Katherine and Gavin who are about to give birth and who deserve so much happiness next year
to
Katrina my sister in her new house who deserves everything in the world
to
Kerri L who was mugged recently but is showing humiliating resolve and strength,
to
Lawrain and David our hair consultants…
to
Lisa in NZ and Walker in Canada our long distance lovers who are seeing each other this Christmas for the first time in ages
to
Michael R who helped us grind a few bastards down earlier on in the year,
to
my Dentist Karen who fixed me up good as new when disaster struck in Barcelona,
to
my wee Lynder who shone like a star on TV last night and who I love deeply,
to
my wee mate Ed who I can honestly say for such a young person is one of the most mature kind friends I have ever had
to
Philip our dynamic composer in residence who writes the songs that make the whole world cry,
to
Richard and Susan our newly wedded bestest friends who both Raise Me Up!!
to
Rswipeto
Tess and Michael,
to
Tim Jonesto
Wylfie the pantomime dame (don't even ask)
But the biggest Christmas Fred's honour this year -
A Fred's Knighthood goes to all the guys at Vodafone who have made me feel human again. To
Julie a fantastic woman with so much poise and command in work and yet who has the capacity to melt into a great friend,
to
Isla (a truly intelligent and bohemian spirit)
to
Susan (our poor bad cop who has to remind us all where the lines are and is a real gem)
and last but not least our
Sandra who brought me in when I was out in the cold in February and who is one of the most generous people I know and for whom I would do anything!!
Blub Blub - I love you all and here's to 2006!!!Labels: barcelona, clair gunning stitt, Ed, jenny, Kerri Logan, Lisa, lynder, New Year, Susan
I recommend - NO I INSIST that you visit
RSWIPE's site - He has included this very site in his
"It's a Wonderful Blog" story which is the most bizarrely wonderfully amusing piece of work - and not just because Fred's features!! In fact his blog puts us all to shame in it's genius.
Happy Christmas RSWIPE, Love on Ya!!
Happy Christmas from all at Fred's - This is a recent picture of me and Fred (not) I'm the one on the right...
Some of you are aware that GROOVE (our Belfast Boy Band) did a live radio broadcast last Friday 16/12/2005 on Radio Ulster as part of their "Sounds Classical Christmas Show"
As a sneak taster of what we performed, here for your downloading pleasure is a free MP3 of one of our songs....
Simply right click HERE and save to your collection!!!
More about Groove can be found
HERE
Album Cover of the Day
Announcement from Ikea
Never one to miss a marketing opportunity, Ikea have just released their new range of LESBIAN "MARRIED COUPLE" BEDS to coincide with the amended gay marraiges law in the UK. There's no screwing involved, it's just tongue and groove!!!Badoom Shish!!This joke was submitted by Andrew Smith of West HolywoodLabels: Joke
Have a go.. Who is this celebrity?? A Clue - It's a boy
Album Cover of the Day - Heino. As far as I can tell, Liebe Mutter translates as "Love Mutter"
Picture of the Day
Album Cover of the Day - Jumpsuit tastic!!!
Happy Christmas
And on the day that the first civil partnerships were registered in Northern Ireland, here's a special seasonal message from one of our religious leaders...This image and text was submitted entirely by SMITHY. If you are loving his work, why not try one of his many websites. Some of them have been updated as recently as October. They can be found by clicking any of the following:
My Life as a Dog
Crap that I found on the internet
Lay Clerks
:: Edith Södergran Dikter ::
Du sökte en blomma
and my own particular favourite :-
I'm just popping out for a quick pooLabels: Northern Ireland, smithy
Happy Christmas!!!
Birthday
It's the other Fred's birthday tomorrow (Mrs Fred) - Don't forget everyone!!
St Georges Choir (and ME) on TV
For anyone who missed it on Sunday, the BBC programme featuring St George's Choir will be repeated on Friday 23rd at 3.30pm on BBC2 NI
Album Cover of the Day
The Tabloid Factor
OH MY GOD IT'S SO EXCITING!!!
Actually no it isn't. I never thought I would say this but I am not really all that interestesd in the final of X Factor tomorrow night.
I will watch of course albeit on sky plus later as we have a concert on on Sat but I won't be excited.
It really started with Maria. When she was booted out I realised that this was no talent contest. The X Factor is in fact a POPULARITY contest on a massive scale. It's also a POLITICAL contest they even have party political broadcasts played before each politician goes on stage to deliver. The final straw was poor Brenda who was simply STUNNING last week and yet she got the chop.
"Vote for me because I don't want to go back to being a bin man!!"
"Vote for me because I'm Irish!!!"
"Vote for me because we want to annoy Simon"
"Vote for me because here are my children, and with their puppy dog eyes how can you not!!"
"Vote for me and if you do I'll show you all my washboard stomach"
"Vote for me because I'm desperate"
Have you heard any contestants NOT making a plea to camera that relates to something political?? Yes you have. Brenda. Not once did she take a political stance. Not once did she say Vote for me - I'm a bit larger (A la Michelle McManus) Not once did she involve her town / city of origin - and where did it get her? The mysterious, inexplicable and undeserved boot.
It surely makes you realise that beneath all the glitz and glamour, the X Factor has a sinister but simple message; The non-thinking public are easily manipulated. Pity me I'm a bin man. OK then we'll vote for you on THAT basis. Wake up Britain - HE'LL NEVER BE A BIN MAN AGAIN NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!!!
A sob story or minority trump card or even the sight of a sexy mid-rif and the public vote in droves. Yes Shayne is gorgeous and he has a good voice but let's face it he has a lot of work to do to even get close to what Brenda came up with last week. Will he win? Yes of course. Is he the best? No but he is the cutest.
Also perhaps more concerning is the thought that media moguls like Simon Cowell et al are quite literally manipulating the public with this stuff. It makes you realise what Max Clifford (and not just him but thousands of other PR types) do for a living and just how blatantly they are doing it.
Democracy is a fine thing ladies and gents but never credit the general public with any taste and certainly any sense. The Sun readership will always have their way under democracy and that means tits on page three and sensationalised made up crap everywhere else. The masses are the cause of dumbed down Britain and the truth is scary: We're not dumbing down - we've always been dumb.
Labels: X Factor
Album Cover of the Day
This week's most interesting referrals
As you may know I can see you all. I can see when you look at my site and I can see what you click....
Actually that's not strictly true - the info is limited and anyone can access it not just me. The only thing I can actually do is guess what your IP address is telling me. However I can see why people have come to Freds if they came from a search engine such as Yahoo or Google. Some of this week's most interesting referrals are fascinating!!. If you click these links you will see what people were looking for when they "happened upon" Fred's.
"Drugs kept me from being a terrorist:kelly brook december coverJade Goody Stealing from Asdanicolas dorsett lifestyle now that he had left x factor"jeff brazier" suckchico "is chico time" song lyricschico blowjob picture x-factorchico slimari gayLabels: Jade Goody, X Factor
Picture of the day
Who is going to win the X Factor This Saturday??
Labels: X Factor
Hooray for Holywood!!!
Well we had a lovely night last night in Holywood (Northern Ireland, not USA)
Grove Consort and
Groove did a concert along with
Ulster Brass and a fabulously talented Michael McHale (Concert Pianist) in Holywood Parish Church organised mainly by Andrew Smith.
The World Premiere of a special arrangement of "Rejoice Rejoice" by
Philip Stopford (
St Anne's Cathedral, Belfast) was performed by Grove Consort and Ulster Brass together and conducted by the composer himself and accompanied by Richard Campbell on Organ.
All the groups sang really well and there was a great appreciative audience and a warm Christmas atmosphere which did my heart glad. Even gladder was my heart when we went for a pint in the Maypole and then had a Chinese in the Watermargin. I went home feeling fat and content.
All in all a perfect night!!!
Also it was great to see all the "team" together again in one room and especially good to see our Alan home from Edinburgh. It was funny to see a load of friends putting on a show and all doing their different things and doing them all so well. Special mention to Jenny and Lynda who as usual both sang like nightingales.
Here, therefore, as a tribute to Jenny and Lynda is a picture of a nightingale. Florence Nightingale
Labels: jenny, Northern Ireland, stopford
Album Cover of the Day
Picture of the day
Tuesday's Celebrity Child
So who is this well known celebrity? Answers on comment please
Clue : Christopher's brother?
Monday's Quiz
This is a picture of a well known celebrity when they were a child.
Does anyone know who it is?
Post your answer as a comment!!!
ANSWER:CAZZA was right - it was in fact Eminem!!!!
I'm Back!!!
The panto is over and I'm back to work and looking forward to updating you on all I've been up to over the last week.
Thanks to all who have been asking - the Pantomime (Mother Goose) is going really well so far. If you want an update etc from our little show please feel free to click
here If you look carefully you will find pictures of yours truly..... And no it's not the one above.....
X Factor Poll
The X Factor Survey has just been reset so get your votes in now on the box on the right even if you have voted before. Remember you are voting out the person you want to see ELIMINATED.
Labels: X Factor
Newsflash
Gary Glitter is to be the new Doctor Who. He will have two female companions, K-9 and Shelley - 12.
Fred's tribute to Brian Kennedy
For Brian
When I am short
And cannot reach the Kit-Kats.
When hunger comes
And the milky bars are up high.
Then you are here,
Standing with a foot stool.
And suddenly that top shelf will be mine.
You raise me up,
So I can get the biscuits.
You raise me up,
To get my chocolate feed.
And your stepladder is strong enough to hold me.
You raise me up to get the grub I need.
Fred
As some of you know I am off work this week. This is because of the Pantomime (Mother Goose) in which I am appearing and musically directing.
You can find details of this
HEREThat means this site is going to be a little quieter than normal - I will put something up each day to "whet" your appetites so you don't delete me from your overladen bookmark folders. I wouldn't want to be replaced by some
Christmas Apron website
Also I thought it was worth stating that
Boston Legal is quite simply the best thing ever to go on television and is by far worth seeing if only for the fantastic portrayal by
William Shatner of a sharp lawyer who is slowly losing his mind to
alzheimers disease. That sounds depressing I realise. However this is such a humourous warm and sensitive piece of writing / acting, and in tandem with another fine performance by James Spader as a younger lawyer who quite simply has an answer for everything, the series is a work of genius.
I thank you.
Album Cover of the Day
For Jonny Diagio - Kelly Brook and her Coconuts.
Could I trouble you for some votes please - I have only two it seems and I KNOW I'm more popular than that.
CLICK HERE FOR ME MY DARLINGS 
Album Cover of the Day
Me on the beach in summer at Kearney in Northern Ireland at our friends Gillian and Eric's house
Labels: Northern Ireland
Here is my review for this film. Richard Susan Robert and I went to see it last night and came to the following conclusion:
My step sister Cazza and my sister Katrina.
Andrew in full party swing 
Now I don't want to get all "Madonna" on you all, because I know that some of you can't stand her. But Madonna is an artist with many layers not just the spangles. Hell yes - she divides opinion - that's her forte. She deliberately challenges people to at least think about things and at the same time belt out her songs. Her "American Life" song in her last tour was accompanied not by Madonna on stage on a trapese in a twinkly spangly outfit and spotlight (a la Kylie "Over the Rainbow") but rather with Madonna and entourage in full military costume with graphic scenes of people in a war situation on the screens behind her. "I'm just living out the American dream and I've just realised that nothing is what it seems" she screamed at the crowds as the helicopters and missiles roared overhead. It wasn't pleasant to watch. It was however exciting and challenging. This is mainstream music that at least means something.
OH MY GOD IT'S SO EXCITING!!!
Also perhaps more concerning is the thought that media moguls like Simon Cowell et al are quite literally manipulating the public with this stuff. It makes you realise what Max Clifford (and not just him but thousands of other PR types) do for a living and just how blatantly they are doing it.
So who is this well known celebrity? Answers on comment please
This is a picture of a well known celebrity when they were a child.
Also I thought it was worth stating that Boston Legal is quite simply the best thing ever to go on television and is by far worth seeing if only for the fantastic portrayal by William Shatner of a sharp lawyer who is slowly losing his mind to alzheimers disease. That sounds depressing I realise. However this is such a humourous warm and sensitive piece of writing / acting, and in tandem with another fine performance by James Spader as a younger lawyer who quite simply has an answer for everything, the series is a work of genius.
