Fred'sNotDead

To ADMS

FOR ANDREW!!! ENJOY!!!!

posted by Freddy @ Friday, June 30, 2006 Comments: 7

A Little Bit of Kiwi in Ireland

It's Saturday morning here...2.17am to be exact. I came back in here to check out what might be happening and what do I find?? Another bloody colour change *sigh*. You know you could give me seizures with all these changes Freddy. I shall brace myself in future before coming in here lol

The reason I'm still awake? I'm glad you asked. My oldest son Cameron (I know that's scottish, but he does have an irish middle name AND surname if that's any consolation) has just attended his first Prom...thus I was waiting for him to return home. Then I had to take him to the after-Prom party...now I'm going to bed to see if I can get a couple of hours sleep before he rings to say he needs collecting.

Thank you for inviting me to be part of your community, I truly am honoured. What more can a girl ask for but to be able to have her say ALL OVER BLOGDOM??!

I hope that Richard is doing better these days and looking less like an uncooked chicken than previously.

Enjoy the rest of your day ladies and gentlemen...I bid you goodnight x

Labels: richard

posted by Lisa @ Friday, June 30, 2006 Comments: 1

Ripon

For those going to Ripon in August, there are two files you can listen to, courtesy of ADMS.

Der Mensch
Amen

Here's an idiot's guide to pronouncing the German as promised too!


"ay" as in "play" "ai" as in "mine" "kh" as in "lough" "uh" as in "put"


Der Mensch lebt und bestehet
dayr mensh laybt oont buh-shtay-uht


Nur eine kleine Zeit;
noor ai-nuh klai-nuh tsait


Und alle Welt vergehet
oont a-luh velt ferr-gay-uht


Mit ihrer Herrlichkeit.
mitt ee-rerr herr-likh-kait


Es ist nur Einer ewig und an allen Enden,
es ist noor ai-nerr ay-vikh an a-luhn end-uhn


Und wir in Seinen Händen.
oont veer in zai-nuhn hen-duhn

Labels: Ripon

posted by Freddy @ Friday, June 30, 2006 Comments: 1

Superman Returns - reviewed by Smithy

"Look up the sky... it's a bird... it's a plane... no it's Brandon Routh manly manning up the horizon in form-fitting tights..." [Emily Blunt, The Blunt Review]

"He remembered the cape, the spandex, the shiny boots and the big red S on his chest, but wait... Where's the personality?" [Arizona Daily Star]

"Drab looking, underwhelming and inferior to all four of the Superman films that starred Christopher Reeve...But at least it's better than Supergirl." [FulvueDrive-in.com]

"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane ... no, it's the biggest turkey of the year, featuring a would-be Superman so wooden he might as well be acting in a pine box lined in kryptonite." [Boulder Weekly]

The gayest movie of the summer!...

KEVIN SPACEY: The campest Lex Luthor ever, full of queeny lip curls and bitchy sarcasm.
Rating: GAY GAY GAY...

BRANDON ROUTH: Never mind speculation over the actor's sexuality; visually the new Superman is the queerest thing this side of Krypton. With thick foundation caked on his chiseled face and cheap blue Claire's Accessories contact lenses (this movie has the NASTIEST makeup), you half expect Superman to get frosted highlights in his trademark black lacquered hair at any moment.
Rating: GAYER THAN A CLAY AIKEN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

THE BULGE: All post-movie talk was of the digitally de-bulged red Y-fronts, so expect "I've been digitally de-bulged" to become the new "it's cold in here" for short-cocked men of the world.
Rating: DOES THIS YELLOW BELT LOOK TOO GAY?

VERDICT: Superman is gayer than your gay uncle in Gaysville. Go see!

[The Wow Report]

Labels: New Year, smithy

posted by ADMS @ Friday, June 30, 2006 Comments: 2

From Fred

It's all back on again!! With a new name and a new location - do you like the new scheme??

Some of you may be wondering why these names have all appeared down the right hand side of Fred's.

It's simple. The people on this column have been given "contibutor status" on this blog. It's no longer my blog. It's everyone's blog!! If you have recently become a contributor, then try it out!! you can now "post" directly onto the front page of this website!! I can still remove things if you make a mistake or anything.

Also once you get really good you can put pictures and everything.

I have thought of a name - and that name is the name of the first person who will post something - the bets are on!!!

posted by Freddy @ Friday, June 30, 2006 Comments: 0

From Anna Quay

Thank you for the kind invitation, it's LOVELY to be a part of your community.

Would you like some beef jerky to celebrate?

posted by Anonymous @ Thursday, June 29, 2006 Comments: 0

I've moved house!!

Hello Everyone!!

I have been plagued by silly messages from a self righteous person who claims that the content of my blog is in some way offensive to the Church of Ireland (references to gay issues etc)

This person keeps actually typing the title of my previous blog into a search engine (Google) and then tracking me down even when I had locked away the content of the site!!

Therefore I have moved it completely and taken away all references to the previous blog!!

This means that from now on I am anonymous!! I will continue to work under the pseudonym "FRED" and see what happens. I may have to move a couple of times in order to be sure I am not followed!!

Anyway adjust your bookmarks - here's where I am and hopefully here's where I'll stay...

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, June 27, 2006 Comments: 0

All about Lisa

Nominations this week on Big Brother UK 7 are Imogen, Lisa, Nikki, and Mikey.

Now I really want Lisa to go as she is the most annoying to me. No offence to anyone called Lisa but this one is extremely annoying. She is like Pochohontas's evil twin.

However there is currently an argument floating around the offices of planet Vodafone: The "good television" argument.

The theory being bandied around and accompanied by sage nodding is simple. If we have to concede that our lives are somehow being made complete by these idiots then you will also have to agree that their annoying bits are the bits that we perversely ENJOY!! When you wanted to throw something at Grace it was because for some reason (perhaps you never had a hug as a child) you are actually having the TIME OF YOUR LIVES!!

"FUCK SHE'S AN ANNOYING BITCH" we scream at the telly as we sit up from our slouch position and perhaps even adjust a cushion or two.

"FUCK I WANT HER OUT!!" we screech as the blood courses through our veins sending many endorphins gurgling round our bleary brain cells.

Secretly we are longing for these moments that annoy us. They entertain us. They keep us interested. Imogen and Mikey on their own at the end with Richard and Pete will be the MOST boring telly on earth.

SO let's stop in our tracks and think about this. LISA will not make it to the end - that's a cert. Pete or Glynn will win - that's another cert. Let's now focus on getting the boring ones out.

IMOGEN and MIKEY are going to try and get a relationship going in a bid to compensate for the fact they have no defined characters even yet (apart from "cheat" and "scouser that looks like Vernon Kay") - It's way too late for this and they need to go this week while we have a chance. Mikey will be hard to get nominated again so lets go for him this week.

I say let's save Lisa for now - she's a bitch but she kicks it off every time. What do you think?

Labels: Big Brother, richard

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, June 21, 2006 Comments: 2

My poem - For Richard...

Oh Richard you've lost your Hernia
You took your hospital turnia
Your scar is starting to burnia
And I write this with concernia.

But cheer up about your Hernia
Try not to cry or gurnia
the pain will soon adjournia
and to good health you will....
RETURNIA!!!!

Labels: richard

posted by Freddy @ Monday, June 19, 2006 Comments: 2

Poor Poor Richard

Spare a thought for "Poor Richard" today.

Richard has just had his hernia operated upon in a hospital and he is in genuine agony. He was looking forward to a few weeks off work but looks fairly miserable and in pain - I went round to see him last night after a rehearsal at the Cathedral for tonight's summer concert (at which I am singing)

Richard even had to shave his pubic area prior to the procedure. This alone makes me wince.

Please leave your "Poor Richard" comments below for him to read. All you have to say is "Poor Richard" and then leave your name or a pseudonym (that's fancy talk for nickname)

Poor Richard.....

Labels: richard

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, June 15, 2006 Comments: 9

Posiedon

Went to see this last night.

It's pants.

Don't bother.

Very expensive load of old bollocks!!

It appears quite a lot of people agree with me - see below.

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
Variety.com [Brian Lowry]
Guardian/Observer
James Berardinelli's ReelViews
BBCi - Films
Reel.com [Gary Goldstein]
Salon.com [Stephanie Zacharek]
San Francisco Chronicle [Mick LaSalle]
The Village Voice [Michael Atkinson]

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, June 13, 2006 Comments: 3

Taken from the Radio Times Bloggist

LET THEM EAT CAKE

It's the end of Lea's second shift as Big Brother's security guard. Determined to purge every ounce of fun from the task, Lea whines, complains and snaps crossly at Sam for the entire shift. What a pinch-faced, joyless old trout Lea is once her "good-time girl" mask drops. She's like Nikki, but without the charm. "I am knackered!" she growls, "I want to go to bed. I have been sitting in a chair for four whole hours."

Lea probably is exhausted. Her entire week has been taken up with her pointless, imaginary feud with Richard. She spends most of her time seething, in a gaping string bikini, behind a pair of massive dark glasses, looking like a centre spread in the bluebottle kingdom version of Penthouse. "He's trying to wind us up!" Lea tells her "friend" Lisa, fizzing with fury, "But look at us, eh? We don't care!"

Richard's heinous crime, earlier in the week, was to wade in and plead for calm when the house was attacking Sam. Richard told Lea to "act like a 38-year-old woman". This caused massive umbrage to Lea as she had been four different ages that day and was presently settling on 34. "I have been stabbed in the back!" Lea announced, switching her allegiance from wise Richard to Lisa, a 27-year-old geezer-bird with the vocabulary and world outlook of an underachieving eight-year-old.

It's not that Lisa is a back-stabber. More accurately, she's only as good as her very last conversation, as this is as far as her memory stretches. "Thank God we've got each other, eh?" drawls Lisa to Lea. Inside, Lisa dislikes Lea intensely as Pete prefers Lea to her, but this doesn't stop them both having one of their vomit-inducing sisterly hugs. "We've got each other!" shouts Lisa, dropping fag ash in Lea's hair extensions.

Later, when Richard is on lifeguard duty, Lisa throws his shorts in the pool. Everyone laughs uncomfortably. Richard sits calmly in his overly snug, pillar-box-red Speedos, his face a vision of Zen. "Revenge is a dish best served by a queen," he warns softly. The subtle menace of this statement is lost on stupid Lisa. I'd be scared if I were her: 78 days is a very long time for "a queen" who loves his wardrobe and hates it being messed about with to plot your bleak demise.

"Mr Kipling can breathe easy. Glyn's cake, though made with love, will be exceedingly bad "

Further outbreaks of stupidity are spotted in the kitchen where Sam, up for eviction tonight, is explaining the different facets of her personality. "I am very eclectic!" Sam says. "Wot's that? Ec-lect-ic?" asks Nikki, genuinely keen to learn. "Well, when I buy a book and I've read it…I keep it!" says Sam, "I don't give it away. I hoard it. Eclectic means 'a hoarder'". Sam clearly got this word from the Oxford Phonetic Dictionary for Thickies: "Eclectic" or "I collect it" - definition: A person who doesn't give away their books, but collects them.

In the kitchen, Glyn the chef is coping bravely with his task. Glyn literally can't boil an egg without a recipe: making him house chef is Big Brother's little joke.

Nikki helps nervous Glyn along by standing in the kitchen haranguing him like a small, shrunken Pauline Fowler. There is a small ever-present glint in Nikki's eye that saves her from being truly hateable. Nikki knows she's playing a role. The big, flapping arms, the tossed-about hair, the fake-posh accent, the diva remarks: Nikki knows if she stops all this theatrical behaviour for even a second, all that remains is a small, rather plain-looking, working class girl from Watford. Nothing remarkable at all. I honestly hope she doesn't go tonight.

"This toast is as dry as my a***hole!" Nikki tells Glyn pleasantly. Later, Glyn enters the diary room and is given a recipe sheet, which he reads studiously. "Big Brother wants you to make a cake," the voice says. "Oh, OK," Glyn says. "Are you OK with that, Glyn?" asks Big Brother. "Erm, OK. I think so," he replies. "Are you sure, Glyn?" checks Big Brother. "Erm, well, just one thing…" says Glyn, looking puzzled, "Which one is the oven? Is it the one with the hob on it? Is that an oven?" Mr Kipling can breathe easy again. Glyn's cake, though made with love, will be exceedingly bad.

Labels: Big Brother, Grace Dent, richard

posted by Freddy @ Friday, June 09, 2006 Comments: 2

Odds on big brother

Pete 1/2
Glyn 4/1
Nikki 8/1
Golden Ticket Winner 12/1
Richard 16/1
Mikey 20/1
Imogen 25/1
Aisleyne 25/1
Lisa 40/1
Lea 50/1
Grace 50/1
Sam 66/1

Labels: Big Brother, richard

posted by Freddy @ Thursday, June 08, 2006 Comments: 1

Barcelona Part Two!!

Labels: barcelona, video

posted by Freddy @ Wednesday, June 07, 2006 Comments: 1

Poor Sam

I feel really sorry for Sam today. I don't think any of that ruckus was her fault - I think Lisa was at her work.

What do you think??

By the way here is an interesting website - it's Sam's MySpace - absolutely genuine.

posted by Freddy @ Tuesday, June 06, 2006 Comments: 2